When I'm Good
by Shinoda Senshi
Summary: When miles of road separate Chris from his lover, he promises Kane he'll be good. There is only one way for him to keep that promise. By reminding the Big Red Machine what he's missing out on. *Warning: Contains mention of non-consensual sexual activity.*


**When I'm Good…**

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><p><strong>Warning:<strong> Contains some non-consensual interaction. Please be advised.

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><p>I hate being away from you. The road keeps us apart too much and it makes me crazy. I get a little wild sometimes from missing you. Which is why I'm doing this for you. A moment for us to be together even though we're nowhere near each other.<p>

Lie back. Relax. And let me entertain you.

Every day, I board the train and it's so crowded. Bodies pressing against bodies with not so much as an inch of space between. The crush of rush hour. All the seats are taken by the time I get on. So I find myself a nice spot in the corner. I have a long trip to make, so I don't need to jockey for a position by the door. I like it in my corner. My own little world where I can read my paper without being disturbed by the constant shuffle of passengers. They get on and get off while I stay secluded.

It's a regular routine I've gotten into. So ordinary that I don't even notice the people around me. Not very smart, but that's what happens on the train. We isolate ourselves in our heads, avoiding the gaze of others. On an island of our own.

Your invasion of my sacred space was slow at first. I barely recognized it for what it was. Your first attempt at foreplay. Feeling me out as you felt me up. I always ride with my back to the rest of the train, you see. It helps my concentration. I can engross myself in my newspaper or books or just get lost in my own thoughts.

I barely felt you the first time. Your hand bumped against my ass as if on accident. Happens all the time in such close quarters. It's an accepted fact.

Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. After that, it's a cheap thrill.

You were smart, though. Spacing out each passing swipe over a long period of time. I sometimes went days without feeling you. My guard was down because, really, how could I expect what was to happen next?

So patient. How long did you watch me before you made your move? I know it took a lot of courage to so thoroughly invade my privacy.

An ordinary day, like all the ones before it. Me in the corner, deeply engrossed in the life of some fictional character. My back, as usual, is to the rest of the train. I am safe on my own little island.

I feel something slide across my ass. A quick movement I attribute to a close passenger adjusting his stance. I brush it off and continue reading.

There's another swipe, but not so glancing this time. I can make out the press of individual fingers. They move slowly as they travel across my backside. Once they're gone, I immediately put the whole thing out of my mind. That can't be what I felt. Stuff like that just doesn't happen.

Except it does. For the third time, I feel the touch of a stranger. A bit bolder as the fingers grasp my ass cheek. An entire hand squeezes it. Obviously, this is no delusion. My mind is not playing tricks. I have to put a stop to this before things go any further.

I try to turn, but there is a hand on my shoulder. Big and strong.

"Don't." The first time I hear your voice rumbling in my ear. Soft enough to draw only my attention while still being able to be heard above the noise of the train. "Don't turn around. Don't make a sound. And don't do anything to draw attention to yourself."

I comply, too terrified to do anything else. My eyes stay straight ahead. My mind spinning and spiraling. Am I about to be robbed? I don't have much of value. "You can have my wallet." I don't care that my voice is trembling. I'm willing to give up anything to get away unharmed.

"Don't want your money." Your breath is hot on my ear and your hands grip my hips. "Just do what I say."

My heart pounds in my chest and I can barely breathe. What are you going to do? What do you want from me? I can't fight you off. I know that. Even though I can't see you, I know you are much, much bigger than me. Your hands could probably wrap completely around my neck. With your body pressed behind me, I can easily imagine you looming several feet over me.

That's when I notice something digging into my ass. A tell-tale bulge in the front of your pants. You start to slowly grind into my bottom. Removing any doubt regarding your intentions. My body shakes and my mind goes blank as I try to think of a way to persuade you not to do this.

"Do you suck dick?"

I jump at the sound of your voice and the heat of your words. You can't have asked me that. I must have misheard. "What?"

"You heard me, pretty boy." Your laugh sends chills up my spine. Ominous and full of dark promise. "Doesn't matter anyway. You're gonna suck mine."

Before I can protest, you spin me around. I expect to find you wearing some kind of disguise, but I can see your features clearly. I am captivated by your eyes, a piercing shade of blue. I feel naked under their intense stare. Your lips curve into a wicked grin as you read the fear on my face.

Strong hands on my shoulders force me to my knees. I glance left and right, only to find the backs of the other passengers. No witnesses. Even their close proximity provides me no protection. I am alone and so very helpless.

You undo your pants and pull out your thick, hard cock. Your grin and my eyes widen as you lazily stroke yourself. There is no way I can take all that meat. I look up at you with pleading eyes.

"Please… Please don't do this…"

You respond by grabbing the back of my head. Your fingers twist in my hair and pull hard. Pain erupts in my scalp. I am trapped. There is no hope for escape.

I expect you to plunge your dick into my mouth, force feeding me every inch. That's not your game. That would be too easy and too quick. You want to draw out my terror for as long as possible.

Cock in hand, you run the fat head across my lips. Back and forth. Leaving a hot, sticky trail across my skin. Over and over. I feel the tip trace my mouth. The anticipation nearly makes my heart explode in my chest. Why won't you get this torture over with? Make me suck it so you can have your fun and then leave me alone?

I get my wish as you push into my mouth. The head of your cock slides between my lips. I try to keep my tongue away, but it's no use. You're filling my mouth and I can't avoid tasting you. I want to be revolted. Disgusted. But I'm not. My cheeks burn with shame as I run my tongue along the underside of your dick. I involuntarily suck on your shaft. You smile down at me as you slowly plunge in and out. I pretend it doesn't please me. I close my eyes to block out the sight of you, not to concentrate on the thick shaft sliding down my throat.

Every time I suck and swallow, I hate myself a little bit more. What you're doing to me is wrong. Horrible and vile. Yet I can feel the nature of my fear changing. My pulse still races, but in excitement, not fright. I open my eyes and look up at your face and know now why you chose me. Out of all the people on this train, I'm the one that would like this. That would open their mouth wider to take more of your cock.

You pull out of my mouth as I begin to shake. This realization is ruining me. I can barely stand when you draw me to my feet. You turn me towards the wall and I' m grateful that no one else can see what's happening. No prying eyes to wonder why I'm not putting up a fight. They won't see the way the front of my pants is tented. Sucking your dick has made me incredibly hard and I can barely stand myself. My body is betraying me. Not only accepting the violation, but welcoming it. Because I know what happens next.

On cue, you undo my pants and yank them down around my knees. My ass is exposed, as is my aching prick. I feel your dick, slick with my spit, rub against my bare cheeks. You wrap your hand around my hardness and laugh evilly. "What's this?" you ask, even though the answer is obvious. "Not only are you a good cock sucker, but it turns you on, too. Should I pretend I didn't feel you moaning around my dick?"

I don' say anything. What can I say? Lie to save my injured pride? Pretend I'm unaffected by your words? The truth is ugly and plain. I want you to fuck me. On this train, behind the backs of a hundred people. To know that they are within shouting distance, but never raise my voice.

Your hand smacks against my ass. The sting leaves me gasping. "Hands against the wall, pretty boy."

Head lowered, I do as I'm told. I don't even have the comfort of shame to hide behind. I've accepted my actions and my fate. There is nothing left but to let you have me.

You spread apart my ass and rub your shaft between my cheeks. "Get ready, pretty boy. You're gonna love this."

I feel the slippery head of your bare cock against my hole. Recalling the way you had filled my mouth. I'm not ready for the thickness that slides inside me. You stretch me open maddeningly slow. Have me breathing hard as I feel every inch. It can't all possibly fit, but I want it to. Want you to force it deep until you bottom out in me.

Your hips finally rest against my ass. My muscles twitch around the base of your dick. Never had anything this thick before. It hurts, but the pain is secondary to the pleasure of being so impossibly full. I'll never be the same after this.

You are not gentle. Good. I don't want some sweet lover tenderly rocking into me. I relish the hard fuck, the pounding rhythm, the slap of your hips against my ass. You breathe heavily in my ear as you take what you want from me. I'm no virgin, but you are a first in so many ways.

"Look over there," you whisper, voice rough as you fuck me raw. "Do you think he knows what's going on behind his back? What about that lady? The one with the headphones and smart phone. All she'd have to do is glance over her shoulder to see you with my dick up your ass. Would you have her stop me?"

Biting my lip, I shake my head. I can't look in the direction you dictate. Can't look at my oblivious audience. Because I want them to see. Want their eyes on me as I give in to the pleasure you provide. Would they be shocked? Outraged? Aroused? Would they believe me if I told them that this wasn't planned? What kind of person lets a stranger have their way with them like this? I'm moaning softly and trembling with each merciless thrust, so I must enjoy it.

"I'll give you a chance, pretty boy." Your fingers dig into my hips. As if I had even entertained the thought of getting away from you. "Tell them what I'm doing to you."

I want to scream at the top of my lungs. _Help me! Save me!_ Instead, I whisper, barely loud enough to reach my own ears, "He's fucking me… His cock is deep in my ass." I glance over to the nearest person, my eyes on the back of her head. "He's making me take it. I don't want to, but I can't stop him. He's so big… So big and I can't get enough."

The hand around my dick almost makes me cry out. I contain my scream, shuddering hard as you stroke me in time with your pounding. You're going to make me come. You want to see me lose the last bit of my self-respect and self-control. Your grip is fucking marvelous and I strain to release the tension building inside me. Wrecked and ruined, I give in. Squeeze my eyes shut as I rocket into oblivion.

"So fucking pretty," you pant in my ear. "Got something special. Just for you."

You can't possibly come inside me. You couldn't. You wouldn't. But that's exactly what you do. Grunting and growling, you pump me full of come. Each hot shot makes me gasp. There's so much of it. Hot, sticky spunk oozes out of my hole as you finally pull out.

Free of your hands, I yank up my pants. My hands shake as I try to right my clothing. I want to erase the whole thing from my mind, but I can't. Not with my muscles clenching, craving the cock that isn't there anymore. I feel your come between my cheeks, where it will stay for the rest of the day.

I need to get out of here. The train is nowhere near my stop, but I can't wait. Can't spend another moment looking at the white streaks on the wall, knowing how they got there.

You grasp my chin and force me to look up at you. "Same time tomorrow?"

What you propose is madness, but I've already given up on sanity. Remembering the taste of you in my mouth, I nod. You can have me tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. Because you know a cockwhore when you see one and I am not going to deny my true nature anymore.

I miss you so much. I think I'll go take a long, hot shower and think about you. Come home soon, honey. A cockwhore is a terrible thing to waste.

**END**


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